X-Ray and Vav: Other Tales
by The Freelancer Collaboration
Summary: Unconnected drabbles and one-shots concerning the X-Ray and Vav universe. Expect a wide array of genres, themes, pairings, and moods, and, of course, a lot of super-powered heroism and stupidity from our crime-fighting duo, written by a variety of writers associated with our original fic, along with other members of The Freelancer Collaboration.


**(A/N) Hey guys, a little Halloween treat for you tonight, in place of this week's X-Ray and Vav update, as we launch the first of what will be hopefully several X-Ray and Vav one-shots and spinoffs over the coming months! Keep an eye out for other updates tonight in our fics, because we like to take everything a step further and give our readers a little bit more on the holidays. So, here we are, with our first one-shot, which can be considered to run alongside our current fic, there just wasn't a convenient place to upload it.**

**Big thanks to Storm, for taking on the extra work and really raising the bar with this one! I hope you all have a great night tonight, and that you all have as much fun this one-shot as much as I did! It's going to be hard for future one-shots to top this!**

**Enjoy!**

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**The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors**

**Dr Gavin Free / Vav**

**Written by StormBlue**

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"_Reality leaves a lot to the imagination._" - John Lennon

* * *

"Are we ready to go yet? It's almost dark," Ray said, stepping into the room from where he had been changing into his costume.

"Just about," Gavin replied. He turned to look at his partner and paused at the sight of Ray's green suit with the memorable X emblazoned in the centre, complete with black cape and boots.

"Really? You're dressing up as X-Ray for Halloween?" he asked in slight disbelief, shaking his head slowly.

X-Ray looked down at himself. "Yeah, so?"

Gavin shrugged. "I don't know, just that we go out as X-Ray and Vav almost all the time now. The costumes might as well be our day clothes."

"Well, I don't have any other costumes. Besides, what about you?" Ray pointed at Gavin, who looked down at his own costume.

He suddenly remembered having struggled into his own Vav costume earlier. "Oh, right. Well, everyone loves a good superhero, don't they?" He reached back and straightened his own red cape. "Anyway, I'm ready if you are."

X-Ray nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

They had managed to find J-Roll's house without too much trouble, where he was hosting a party for the holiday. Unfortunately for the duo, all the people there - save for J-Roll himself and Burns - were people they had never met before, so they had to go around and talk to people who they were likely to never see again and try to remember all the names and the faces. No one seemed to think much of the two heroes being there, probably assuming they were just in-costume rather than the real X-Ray and Vav; not that either of them minded quite so much. A few people had brought their kids along, who were constantly trying to corner Vav and ask him questions. Finally, they saw the familiar messy head of hair that was Joel over in a corner by the kitchen and made their way over to him.

"J-Roll!" Vav called happily in greeting.

Joel turned to him with a sigh. "I've told you not to call me that."

"Did you come in from work?" X-Ray asked, seeing Joel's federal agent suit.

"No, what makes you say that?" J-Roll said in confusion, but when X-Ray gestured to his suit, he raised an eyebrow. "This is my costume. That's what I am for Halloween, an FBI agent."

X-Ray raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's a good look for you," he had to admit.

Vav looked between the three of them. "You know, none of us were really creative in picking out costumes…," then he simply shrugged it off with a smile. "Oh well. There's always next year, right?"

Joel turned around a lifted something off the countertop. "Could you put this on the table?" he asked, handing a pumpkin pie over to X-Ray.

"At least it isn't a cake," X-Ray muttered, taking it and walking away.

J-Roll watched his retreating back before turning to Vav in confusion. "What's wrong with cake?"

With a short laugh, Vav was about to reply when he was interrupted by something pulling on his cape. He turned to see little pink fingers attached to-

He jumped back in surprise as large, blood-red eyes met his with large yellow teeth jutting out from a long muzzle underneath that, he gulped as he looked into the gaping jaw to see… the sweet, innocent eyes of a child.

"Mister Vav?" the kid asked, peering at the hero from behind the ugly plastic teeth of his costume.

Vav chuckled nervously, embarrassed that such a simple costume had caught him so off-guard. Though, he supposed, having faced a real-life werewolf before, he couldn't really be blamed for being so surprised. "Y-yes?"

The tiny werewolf tilted his head as the kid looked at Vav's superhero suit. "Why do you always wear your pyjamas when you go out to save people?"

Vav knelt down so he could see the kid better. "These aren't my pyjamas," he explained. "I wear this so that people will know who I am whenever they see me."

The kid blinked. "My Mommy said that it's in… inna… inapproprote to wear my underwear on the outside in public."

Ina-what? "Oh, inappropriate? I… well… uh…" Vav didn't actually have a good response to that, so he was relieved when a woman's voice spoke up.

"Okay boys and girls, we're all set to go trick-or-treating! Anyone who wants to come along is welcome!"

With that, the kid talking Vav immediately forgot the conversation and ran out the door with a delighted squeal, just as X-Ray re-joined them. Within a few minutes, all the children had been gathered and most of the adults had disappeared, leaving the house considerably more empty than it had been a moment ago.

Burns came strolling up to J-Roll like he was leading someone, though Vav couldn't see anyone behind him. "Heyman! I got someone I want you to meet," he gestured down to a figure that didn't even reach his waist.

J-Roll's eyes flicked down to the figure and he raised an eyebrow at his partner. "So where is this person?"

Exasperated, he gestured down to the small figure again. "Joel, don't be rude, he's right there. This is a new co-worker of ours."

Agent Heyman took a good look, certain that Burns was playing a practical joke on him, but when he looked up at him, there was no amusement on his face.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, a little concerned about Burns. "That's not even… a person."

Burns glared at him. "Just because he's from a different culture than you doesn't mean he's not a person!"

Joel blinked, unsure of what to say to that. What was Burns talking about anyway? "No, I didn't mean- it's not a person because it's a puppet. It's a puppet, see it's purple! It's got ribbons for hair, and… wait, where is it from?" he asked, confused by Burns' statement.

"I'm from the Dominican Republic!" the puppet proclaimed proudly in a high-pitched voice. It was standing there, staring at the two of them, with no apparent support, and it certainly wasn't a costume.

X-Ray just watched, and he couldn't tell if he was confused or amused. Probably both. "I'm not even going to ask."

Vav couldn't help but agree, as Burns started talking about cultural diversity and equality among nations while J-Roll tried to convince him he didn't have anything against any of that.

The doorbell rang, temporarily pausing the argument. J-Roll half-turned to the heroes, seeing that they were just standing around, doing nothing.

"Could one of you go get that?"

"Sure thing," Vav replied, and walked over through the main room. It was a little early for trick-or-treaters, but then again a group had already left. His boots thudded on the floor with every step he took, and he watched his hand reach out for the doorknob. The metal was cold against his skin, and the creak of the wooden door echoed throughout the front hallway as it inched open.

_Why don't I open it faster?_ he couldn't help but ask himself.

He almost screamed as he opened it fully before realizing it was just a woman. A woman wearing a bright purple leather jacket, covered in bold black exclamation marks, and purple trousers, with a block bowler hat on her head, a purple exclamation mark printed on the front. Not exactly inconspicuous attire. Her clothes were in disarray and her blonde hair was knotted. Still, just a woman in her twenties, nothing to be afraid of. He leaned against the doorframe.

"Can I help you?"

She looked at his suit, eyes narrowing as if confirming something, then her eyes roved the room behind him until they fell on X-Ray. "Mind if I crash your party?" she asked, breathless.

"Uh…," for a moment, Vav didn't know what to say. "Sure, but it's… not really our party. J-Roll's inside, so…" He stood to the side to let her in. He didn't think her current state was odd; he figured that was just the look she was going for on Halloween.

"Actually, I was looking for you two. I kinda need your help. I'm Barbara." Her eyes darted to the few other guests still hanging around, including the two cops and the strange puppet. "Listen, can we talk somewhere private?"

Vav hesitated. It wasn't often that a chick wanted to go somewhere private with him, but something told him that wasn't what she had in mind. He was beginning to think that something was up, rather than just a Halloween joke. Though in hindsight, he realized that he really should have noticed that as soon as he saw her.

"I don't think there's anyone upstairs..."

That was all the invitation Barbara needed to grab both his arm and X-Ray's as they passed him, pulling them along as she took the stairs two at a time, not seeming to mind that this was someone else's house.

"Wait," Vav held up a hand, realizing something. "If you were looking for us, how did you know to come to J-Roll's house?"

"I saw you coming here," was her short reply.

X-Ray didn't know quite what to think of that. "That's kind of... stalkerish," he muttered.

Barbara glanced around again, like she was nervous. "I need you guys to listen to me, there's-"

An ear-piercing howl suddenly interrupted them, the sound cutting through the night. Vav's eyes darted to the open window that was now letting a chill breeze into the room, causing the curtains to flutter and goose-bumps to form on his arms. Or maybe the howl had done that.

Why was the window even open? All it did was make the house cold and add to the creepy setting. "We live in the middle of the city. There aren't any wolves out there," he said, confusion clear on his face.

Barbara looked at the window, backing away from it. "Crap," she muttered.

X-Ray walked up and shut the door with finality, the force of it nearly causing the glass to break. "That wasn't a normal wolf," he said, suddenly serious.

It took Vav a moment to catch on to what he was saying. "The Enderwolf? But he was locked up! How did he escape? And why is he out tonight?"

X-Ray gestured out the window. "This is the one night where he can go around unnoticed," he explained, and Vav quickly got his point. It was Halloween; monsters were everywhere, and a werewolf certainly wouldn't stick out.

"Um, guys?" Barbara got their attention. "We might want to run. Like, _now._"

It was then that Vav noticed the room filling with smoke and he turned and launched himself toward Barbara just in time to shield her from the sharp, clawed fingers of the Enderwolf, pain flaring as he did so. With a short burst of red light, the wolf was thrown through the wall to the left by X-Ray's blast.

Vav looked at the three bleeding marks on his right arm. They weren't very deep, and they'd heal quickly. "That bloody _hurt_, you mungy little pleb!"

"What?" Barbara expressed her confusion over his choice of words.

X-Ray, having recovered from the blast, hurried over to them. "He's getting up again," he observed.

Indeed, the Enderwolf had gotten back up to its feet (paws?) and charged them. However, it simply knocked X-Ray aside with a swipe of its long arm and tried to completely bypass Vav, aiming for Barbara.

_Oh no you don't-_

Vav aimed a swift punch at the wolf, which clipped it in the side, sending it slightly off balance, and Barbara was quickly out of the way, cleverly tripping it as she dodged.

"We should run," she urged them.

Vav raised an eyebrow at her. "Why wouldn't we fight it?"

Rolling back to his feet, X-Ray had to agree with his partner. "Yeah, we already beat it once before."

The building suddenly shook and the three were almost knocked over. The Enderwolf stood once again, unfazed, facing them with a toothy leer on its face, like a predator that had trapped its prey. Dust fell from the ceiling as several thumps sounded on the roof. X-Ray noticed cracks forming above their heads.

"Look out!" he yelled.

The roof caved in, chunks of wood, concrete, and plaster tumbling into the room. A huge cloud of dust obscured everything, and everyone in the room was slightly dazed. Vav was the first one back up, and a quick look around confirmed that both X-Ray and Barbara were relatively fine, having got out of the way of the worst of it. He couldn't tell if his ears were tricking him or not, but it sounded like there had been a few yelps from the Enderwolf. Maybe they had gotten lucky and it had been crushed.

Those hopes were quickly dashed, however, as he saw the large two-legged wolf roughly shove rubble off itself and turn to growl fiercely at the ceiling.

X-Ray looked up through the gaping hole in the ceiling. "Is that a-"

"Yep," Barbara answered him.

Vav's eyes widened until he felt they were about to pop out of his sockets. For a moment, he was speechless. That moment didn't last very long, however.

"Why is there a _dragon _just_ sitting _on top of the _house?!_" he yelled in a way that made it unclear as to whether the fact it was a dragon or the part where it was perched on the roof peering down at them was more unbelievable.

The large black dragon was watching them with hungry-looking purple eyes, its maw opening slightly in anticipation. Like the Enderwolf, its eyes passed over the heroes and landed on Barbara.

Out of the corner of his eye, Vav saw X-Ray trying to catch his eye. The look on his face made it clear what he was thinking, and his eyes darted to the Enderwolf for a split second, silent communication passing between the two heroes.

In a sudden rush, Vav whirled around, bending low to the ground and scooping up the largest piece of rubble that was closest to him and flinging it with all his strength toward the Enderwolf. He followed the movement by closing the distance between them and punching the werewolf squarely in the jaw before kicking it in the midriff, making it tumble backwards into a bathroom, crashing heavily into the bathtub, dazed.

In the same moment, X-Ray had built up the energy in his eyes, feeling the familiar burn, and released it at the dragon with as much force as he could muster. Barbara didn't hesitate a single second to dart back past the wolf back down the stairs, warning everyone that was still in the house of the danger.

Vav pulled X-Ray with him down the stairs, making sure his friend didn't trip and fall though nearly doing that himself. He knew the blast X-Ray had fired would render him weak for a moment; a short moment, but still too long. They emerged into the kitchen to see chaos as well, with J-Roll screaming, trying desperately to get a small purple puppet off him, who was laughing while holding a knife, jamming it multiple times into J-Roll's body.

Burns was standing to the side, talking into his phone. "Hey, it sounds like you two have things worked out, I'm proud of you Joel!" he shouted over his shoulder without looking.

Vav's eyes were wide as the cop suddenly stopped struggling and the entire room was covered in red splatters, with fresh blood pooling on the floor. With a thump, the Enderwolf skidded into the wall by the stairs above them, snarling ferociously.

"Run!" Barbara yelled as she saw a large purple eye glaring at her from one of the windows.

Out of the corner of his eye, Vav saw the Enderwolf jump at Pongo, who retaliated with his own attack, and they were both preoccupied for a moment. The dragon was in front, its huge mouth gaping open through the door that had been torn off its hinges, and Vav followed Barbara and X-Ray just in time as purple flames came spewing out of its mouth, quickly lighting the house in flames.

They made their way into the street that was quickly filling with more and more trick-or-treaters, making sure to keep track of each other in the mass of various costumes and little giggling children darting between their legs. He was in disbelief at J-Roll's fate, the horrid images flashing across his mind. They could still see the dragon further clawing apart his house, though no one else seemed to notice. The extent of the reactions from the public at the sight was pointing and gasps of astonishment at the Halloween feat. Vav grumbled, turning his shock into frustration.

"_Seriously,_ has everyone lost their common sense?"

X-Ray nodded in agreement. "The Community's going to get whatever they're after simply because of the ignorance of the public."

Barbara was leading them somewhere, but where, Vav wasn't sure. He finally reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. "What is going on?" he asked. "Why are they after you? Cause they certainly didn't seem to care about us for once."

She turned to face him and hesitated. "They know me as the Punster. You might have heard of me," she replied slowly, only to sag slightly when Vav confessed his lack of knowledge. "I was part of the Community, and when I wanted out, they wouldn't let me. They're after me because I got away, and they didn't like that. I had to go to the only two people I knew who could stand a chance against them," she explained.

"Oh," Vav thought about this. "So why did you leave?"

Barbara scoffed. "Have you seen the things they've been doing lately? I didn't want any part of that." She started walking again with a brisk pace. "Besides, the Enderwolf is just a _howl_ lot of fun," she said sarcastically.

"'_Howl_ lot of fun?'" Vav quoted. "Your life is in danger and you're joking around?"

She shrugged. "They don't call me the Punster for no reason."

X-Ray jogged to catch up with her. "So you'll be able to tell us more? All the inner workings and everything? And where are we going?"

"Of course. Provided we all survive tonight," she replied. "I don't have a destination in mind, we just have to keep moving. It may seem like we left them behind, but they'll catch up. Against just the Enderwolf or the Enderdragon, we stand a chance, but against both? No way."

Vav's eyes darted around them, waiting for a werewolf to jump out at them anytime, or to see the silhouette of the large black dragon in the sky. "So the Enderdragon just vanished? How can something so large hide so well?"

"Dragonface has his ways," the Punster replied vaguely.

"Do you hear that?" X-Ray asked, concentrating on something.

They slowed to a stop, and now that Vav listened, he could hear something. There was thudding, crashing, and car alarms in the distance and they were getting closer, followed by a silence that was even more terrifying.

A mini-van suddenly came into their view from the left, flipping through the air and landing with a crash into the street, scattering people who screamed in fear. With a roar, a large person came into view, bending down and tossing another car with a surge of strength. It wasn't the Enderwolf, but it was certainly too large and too strong to be a normal person. Vav almost thought he recognized the face.

"I… am… MOGAR!"

With a roar of primal fury, Mogar stopped an oncoming truck, meeting it head-on and causing a large dent in the front where his hands gripped it. He lifted the large vehicle into the air, ignoring the still-spinning wheels and the screaming man inside, turning to face the heroes and their companion.

"_Bollocks!_" Vav yelled as the truck came hurtling in their direction. He dove to the side and went rolling, a heavy weight landing on him. The truck smashed right where they had just been, and he looked up to see Barbara on top of him. She quickly rolled off him to find that X-Ray was darting around keeping Mogar's attention, whose rage only grew at the distraction from his target.

"Vav!" he yelled. "Get Barbara out of here! I'll hold him off!"

Was he insane? "Are you sure?"

X-Ray met his eye and nodded. "I have a plan, now go!"

After a good deal of hesitation, the two of them ran down a side-street, taking shortcuts through backyards and alleyways, the sounds of a fight escalating behind them until they passed out of range.

The Punster was out of breath, unable to run anymore. "Stop…" she panted. "I need a quick rest."

Vav looked around. Currently, they were out in the open, but she couldn't go any farther. There was a warehouse just a little bit away that looked like it would be easy to get into. All the lights inside were off, suggesting that whoever owned it was away for the holiday. "Come on, just a little more."

The lock on the outside was rusted and it didn't take much for Vav to be able to bust it, and they quickly scampered inside, leaning on the walls and trying to slow their hearts.

"What… what is this place?" Barbara wondered, looking around in the dim light.

Vav felt around the wall for some sort of light-switch so they could actually see where they were. Finally finding one, he flipped it up, coming face to face with what looked like a ninja. "Wow, look at this painting!" he exclaimed. "It's like kung fu or something like that. This is top."

"Holy _cow!_"

Vav turned to see what his companion was referring to. The rest of the large room looked like some kind of work place, filled with tables and shelves piled with various tools and mechanical objects. There were pulleys and hooks and chains hanging from the walls and the ceiling, a few of which had crates or bundles of metal poles hanging between them. Barbara was looking down at something in the middle of the room, however. It looked like a hole or something. "What is it?"

"It's a cow! That's why I said 'holy cow,' cause, you know, it's a… cow," she finished lamely, blushing slightly. "I'm sorry, I honestly can't stop myself."

Vav peered down the glass-covered hole, ignoring her supposed attempt at a bad pun. There was indeed a brown and white spotted cow trapped in the hole, watching them with dull and slightly cross eyes. There was a tag on its ear, but instead of an identification number, there was just a name. _Edgar_. It let out a low rumbling sound and came closer as Barbara began to reach her hand forward.

"What on Earth is a _cow_ doing in here?" Vav wondered aloud. Was it stuck? Had it wandered in the warehouse by itself or did someone place it there?

Barbara bent down and undid a few heavy locks (Vav couldn't help but wonder why they were there in the first place?), ready to lift the glass panel up. "Here, help me get him out," she requested. "These conditions aren't good to keep any living creature in."

He really didn't want to stay in this place for longer than necessary, and knew that they should get moving again. When he voiced his thoughts, Barbara didn't show any concern.

"Come on, it'll only take a minute," she said, and he sighed, lifting it. It was surprisingly heavy, the glass thick and reinforced. The cow just watched them, not acting nervous at their presence or like he was eager to get out or anything.

"You shouldn't have done that," another voice suddenly said. A shadowed figure was framed in the now-open doorway, a single red light being emitted from where his right eye was… or should have been.

They jumped back from the hole. "Oh, is this your cow?" the Punster looked up. "I'm really sorry, it was an honest mis-_steak_."

The figure was revealed to be Ryan as he stepped out of the shadows, either oblivious or ignorant of the pun. His appearance was unnerving, though Vav couldn't tell if it was just a costume or yet another thing that was for real.

"Ryan, you're all… covered in iron," Vav said, stating a rather obvious observation.

"Iron-Ryan?" Barbara couldn't help but ask.

Ryan stepped forward, calmly, looking neither friendly nor hostile. "You're hiding from the Community?"

Vav wordlessly nodded his head. He was getting a bad feeling from this, though whether it was coming from Iron-Ryan or just the place, he couldn't tell. Needless to say, he was alert.

Barbara watched him worriedly. "You're not going to turn me in, are you?"

Surprisingly, Iron-Ryan shook his head. "No," he said. "I won't need to, because you're going to find it _very_ hard to leave this place. You really chose a poor place to hide."

Yeah, he was getting a _really_ bad feeling about this. Vav's eyes darted around the room, expecting some trap to be sprung, but all he got was a chuckle from Ryan.

"Oh, I'm leaving now, so you don't have to worry about me. Really, you were the ones who called this on yourselves."

Vav hadn't found anything dangerous in his search, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. He was unsure of whether or not to believe Ryan. "So what, you're just going to leave us locked in here with a cow?"

Iron-Ryan smirked, an overall creepy sight. "Oh no," he corrected. "Edgar's not locked in here with you. It's _you_ who's stuck in here with him. That hole was there for your protection, you know."

With a frown, Vav turned back to the innocent-looking cow, still staring unblinkingly at them from within the hole, but by the time he opened his mouth to voice his disbelief, Ryan had disappeared.

"Um…" Barbara sounded very nervous. "His eye is glowing now," she pointed out.

Edgar was still watching them, but instead of just a normal bovine, his right eye was now glowing with a red light, much like Iron-Ryan's. Of course the one place they just wanted to stop and rest for a few minutes was housing a creepy cyborg cow that likely wanted to eat them for breakfast… despite the fact that it was night.

"Let's very quickly put the lid back on," he whispered to the Punster, who nodded in understanding.

Edgar didn't move as Barbara locked eyes with him, sinking down into a crouch, ready to slip the locks shut. Vav was reaching to his side, trying to be inconspicuous, but as soon as the bull saw him, he snorted in rage and Vav pushed the panel down in a panic. Feeling a sense of triumph as soon as the clang of it hitting the floor sounded, he firmly planted his boots onto the glass to hold it down. His grin, however, turned to a look of dread as the cow underneath him backed up and pawed at the ground. Barbara wasn't going to get the locks in time and standing on top of it _really_ wasn't a good idea right now.

"Oh, _toss-_" Vav managed to gasp before the cow charged, using one of the walls in his hole to balance himself, placing his hooves as high up as he could manage and butting the glass with his horned head. The force was somehow enough to send the Brit flying through the air, and his arms instinctively reached out and his gloved fingers wrapped around one of thick chains hanging down, coming to a stop halfway between the ceiling and the floor.

He only began to get seriously worried when the cow began to speak, its voice alternating between a weirdly robotic mooing and an even more weird robotic rasp, chanting the same sentence over and over to itself as it stared at him: "No Way In, No Way Out. No Way In, No Way Out."

"What do we do?" Barbara shrieked at him, desperately trying to put some distance between herself and Edgar, who was now climbing out of his hole. That had been deep enough that he shouldn't have been able to get out, but Ryan had clearly cybernetically enhanced this cow in more ways than just giving him a mechanical eye. As if it wasn't obvious when he had been launched almost to the roof.

Vav didn't even know what was going on anymore. He probably hadn't known ever since that crazy puppet showed up. He honestly didn't know what to do with the bloody cow, he just wanted to get back to X-Ray and keep the Punster out of danger. And then do the same for the rest of the city; there was no telling what the Enderwolf and Enderdragon were doing while they were stuck in a warehouse, trying to not get killed by a cow.

He was still having a hard time trying to figure out why Ryan had picked a _cow_ of all creatures.

There were several windows lining the walls where they met the ceiling. Small, there to let in light and a light breeze if opened, but hopefully they could squeeze through. They could come back and deal with Edgar later.

"Try to get to one of these chains! We'll go out through a window!"

With a glance at Edgar, who had begun to flip the tables and make a wreck of the place, Barbara started climbing shelves to get higher. She had a good grip, and it was difficult to hold on, and she could almost reach a hook above her head. However, when something heavy rammed into the bottom of the shelves, causing them to shudder and rock, she only barely stayed on. Edgar was down there, trying to make them fall over, and Barbara with them.

"Jump!"

The yell from Vav was muted in her ears, but she complied anyway, not having much other choice. She caught the hook and dangled limply from it, but she was only holding on with her fingers. Vav had been making his way closer and could see that she was about to slip, so he lowered himself on the chain she was hanging from and grabbed one of her arms, pulling her up so she could get a better grip. He was at a rather precarious position as well, but soon they were able figure it out.

It took some struggling as Edgar still rampaged underneath them, but eventually they were able to work one of the windows open and climb out. There was quite a distance to fall, but Barbara had made sure the window they made their escape through was over an open dumpster. Not the best escape, but an escape nonetheless.

Leaving the cyborg cow behind, they were less concerned with hiding and more with finding out what was going on. Vav was surprised to see that not that much time had passed, and crowds were still going from door-to-door, exchanging candy.

"Hey Mommy, Mommy, look, it's a cow!"

The happy squeal of a little kid caught Vav's attention, and he looked around hurriedly, expecting to see Edgar still after them. Barbara tugged on his arm and pointed.

"Vav, look."

They walked closer and saw a considerable chunk of the road missing, several feet deep. And sitting inside of it was a brown and white spotted cow. This one looked slightly different from the other one, and attached to its ear was a tag that said _Edgar V._

He saw something else in the corner of his eye and went to investigate. About twenty feet away was a similar hole with another cow in it, this one labelled as _Edgar VII. _In fact, there were holes everywhere covering the streets, each with a cow in them.

Vav was flabbergasted, to say the least.

"What the- what is going on? When did this happen? Where did all these come from?" The public didn't seem at all perturbed by the strange occurrence, just pointing and taking pictures. "_Has everyone gone mental?_"

"Vav?"

The familiar voice was certainly a relief, and he turned and started venting his frustration at his partner. "Nothing tonight is making any sense at all, X-Ray!"

X-Ray looked around. He was a little beat up, but still in one piece. "Yeah," he had to agree. "There's cows everywhere. We're also superheroes. You're going to start questioning things now?"

Vav sighed, attempting to calm himself down. "You've got a point there. So what happened with Mogar?"

X-Ray plopped down on the pavement. He looked exhausted. Now that Vav thought about it, he was exhausted too. Not to mention Barbara, who was putting the momentary break to good use, letting her tired limbs take a rest.

"It was hard and tiring, and he almost had me. A garbage truck was going around and he managed to get his head caught in it. While it was active. Long story short, he got decapitated."

Vav blinked. That sounded very… gruesome.

The Punster lifted her head up. "So would you say he can't get a_head_ of us anymore?"

The Brit groaned and put his own head in his hands. To be honest, he was just numb. From being attacked, to the death of J-Roll, to being attacked again and being seriously creeped out by one of the most non-frightening animals he could think of. He just couldn't think anymore. But then he realized something that only brought out the senselessness of everything again.

"Why was there a garbage truck out doing rounds _in the middle of the night?_"

His question was never answered. They really shouldn't have let down their guard or stopped moving. They didn't even know what had happened when large claws plucked them off the pavement and suddenly they were in the air, carried by a large black monster with purple eyes. He had been wondering where the Enderdragon went. Before Vav knew it, they were dropped again, landing in front of a house.

As soon as he hit the ground, the clawed fingers of the Enderwolf were around X-Ray's neck, pressing his face into the dirt and preventing him from using his powers, as they required the use of his eyes. Vav found the barrel of a rifle aimed right at his head, far enough away that he couldn't push it to the side in an attack. Bullet-Beard's steady finger on the trigger told him that if he tried anything, he wouldn't hesitate to squeeze.

A very large person on a similarly huge horse approached, and Vav couldn't see his face. He was holding a sword, and he looked familiar… Vav gagged as he realized the reason he couldn't see his face was because he didn't have one. He didn't have a head at all. And the reason he was familiar was because this was Mogar, somehow still able to come after them in some gross, horrid mockery of the Headless Horseman. He stopped his horse (with the name Hidalgo branded onto its shining metallic armour) next to Barbara.

The wolf snarled as X-Ray struggled, and Mogar reached down and grabbed the Punster, shoving her inside the creepy building. Vav was seriously considering trying an escape despite a bullet wound he was no doubt about to have, but another figure exited the building as he was about to jump into action. He had his back to Vav, so he couldn't see his face, but he was holding a tray with something on it. The Enderwolf, through some unheard command, lifted X-Ray off the ground so he could face this man.

Vav felt an ounce of hope, now that X-Ray could blast this guy, or hypnotise him, or something, but X-Ray did nothing. He stared, wide-eyed, at the object on the tray.

"No, no, no, NO!" X-Ray shouted, thrashing around in the wolf's grip, but to no avail. He was shoved into the house as well, and Vav caught sight of what was on the tray. Cake. And in a brief glimpse of what was in the room X-Ray had been taken to, there was much more inside. He heard the screams of his partner and friend as he was forced to face his one weakness.

"X-Ray!" Vav called, jumping up to do something, _anything_, and surprisingly, Bullet-Beard didn't stop him.

But the tall man stood in front of him, and Vav was able to see his features. He had an eye-patch over one eye and a monocle over the other. He grinned maniacally down at him.

"Trick or treat," the Corpirate sneered, and shoved him through the door with surprising strength.

The room was filled with complete silence except for the dripping of water, and he couldn't help but wonder what could have caused X-Ray to quiet, unsure if that was a good sign or a bad sign. He didn't want to turn around to see what awaited him in there. If the Corpirate knew about X-Ray's weakness to cake, he must have similar knowledge of Vav. He didn't know what it would be, and all kinds of terrifying images flashed through his mind. With a gulp, he looked around the room.

It was much worse than anything he imagined.

It was everywhere. Lining every possible location in the room, sitting in bowls of water, puddles gathering underneath them on tables, soaking up the drips from sinks… there were loaves upon loaves of bread, all wet and squishy, absolutely and _horribly_ soggy.

While he didn't have anything against bread or water, when the two combined to create soggy bread, it was the sickest, most disgusting, thing in the world. He tried to look away, but it didn't matter; he saw the same thing, so much so that it was ingrained into the back of his eyelids when he closed them. His stomach churned like it was some kind of blender, and bile rose in his mouth.

He bashed his fist into the locked door in an attempt to get out, to escape from this nightmare. He couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life in here. ANYTHING else would have been preferable. He pounded on the door, again and again, until-

"_Bollocks!_"

He had banged his hand into the nightstand again. It was throbbing like crazy now. Gavin glared at the object, smacking it once more for good measure. "Bloody smegpot," he muttered.

Leaning back against his pillow, he rubbed his face. That was by far one of the weirdest dreams he'd ever had, though he wasn't really surprised about any of it, given the current stress of being a superhero these days. The part with the soggy bread had been accurate, though he had no idea where in his subconscious all the cows had come from.

Rolling over to his side to go back to sleep again, he realized that he should have known it was a dream from the start. He would never go as Vav for Halloween. He had always wanted to dress up as Robin Hood, or some other archer.


End file.
